So it's been a while. Since my last post, the real Big Aristotle even switched teams. The Big Aristotle has never been one to make excuses, but the Big Aristotle has also never been one to speak in the third person, so I should pretty much go fuck myself. That being said, let's move on to this week's juicy McGoodness.
Music
As the biggest of NJ's can attest, I've been on a pretty solid hate streak as of late. There's nothing that makes me happier than a good piece of hate, preferably directed towards someone I really don't like. Usually, I prefer to do the hating on my own, but recently, a certain celebrity has really done some damn good work. Enter: Eminem.
Eminem released one of the greatest pieces of hate I have seen in a long time. Even better than Willie Wonka's stream of hate on Charlie after he accused him of cheating with the bubble machine thing but then actually gave him the chocolate factory. In Eminem's new rap, "Warning", he comes back and absolutely demolishes Mariah Carrey and Nick Cannon. Carrey supposedly dissed Em in her track "Obsessed", referring to their unconfirmed relations in the past. Em goes off with some pretty awesome lines, calling her many names including "whore" and "the c-word". He also hates on Nick Cannon, which is pretty much easier than any of the chicks that Lombardo has ever anally penetrated. Nick Cannon is such a poon. For your listening pleasures, below is a link to this wonderous piece of hate.
Here's some more good hate, with The Game's recent Jay-Z diss.
Sports
Moving on. Manny Ramirez and David Ortiz were just announced as being member's of the 104-player long list of players who used PED's in 2003. How did this make the news? Is anyone really surprised at this? First of all, Manny Ramirez was already suspended for 50 games this year in violation of the leagues drug policy, and this is surprising? And Big Papi? He's in more of a slump than the Athletic Director after we all found out he was gay! Just kidding, but seriously. He's put up shitty numbers, and has bigger tits than Jenna Jameson in Backdoor Bangers VII, and we all thought he wasn't on steroids? C'mon people, get real here. 95% of the league was on steroids in '03, and 80% is on the juice now. Let's just keep enjoying the dingers, and let this one slide. Chicks dig the long ball.
News
For those of you that haven't been paying attention, CNN always has 9 or so important pieces of news on their top headlines and one completely irrelevant piece of news to keep douchebag readers like myself interested. And sure enough, one of them happened to catch my eye. The headline read, "Farmer saves $200,000 with poo power." First of all, anytime I see the word poo in writing, it makes me laugh. Really hard. Second of all, I don't care how much Farmer Joe is saving here, there is no way in hell I'm scraping up pounds upon pounds of cow shit just to toast my fucking bread in the morning. I'll either deal with untoasted bread, eat some Cheerios, or pay the damn electricity bill. Why is this dude being such a Jew? Maybe I'm being a little over judgmental here, but I think we should put our efforts towards more productive things, like anything else other than using poo for energy. That being said, maybe him collecting cow shit is for good. I got to see the word poo in writing. Haha, poo.
Shorts
I've really enjoyed how some of my fellow contributors have used a "shorts" section, so I'm gonna give you all some delicious tid bits as well.
The baseball bat pepper mill
Not using your hand to wipe your ass
A goat yelling really silly-like
I think we're done here. May the next one not be so far in the future. BA out.
2 comments:
Quite a solid post, but how does that goat make those sounds. That goat ROCKS!
Also calling out the AD was pretty ballzy
"being a big guy has its advantages, and its disadvantages...THIS is a great product." Come on. He makes the next 3 gettin' er lists automatically.
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